not good enough.
The past few weeks, if I’m being honest, have been tough for me. Mentally.
I am usually someone who can pull themselves out of a ‘low moment’ before I spend too long there as I have developed my own little positivity tool box full of tools that I know help me get out of a ‘funk’. However the past few weeks, even when I’ve tried to pull myself out of the pit, it hasn’t lasted long; if worked at all.
There are a multitude of reasons contributing to me not feeling great – from being done with isolation yet anxious to get back to work, from feeling exhausted and drained both physically and mentally, and even from the heaviness of the world right now with everything going on (2020 is definitely a year for the books!) but the one thing I think has kept pulling me back down this time round is the feeling of not being good enough.
I am a very positive person. I am someone who believes we should all learn to love, or at least respect ourselves, I love cheesy life quotes and continually promote creating a life that makes you happy. No matter who you are or where you come from, I believe that no matter what your story has been up until this point you are ultimately your own author and you can choose to write the story you want going forwards. Yes you may have some unexpected plot twists along the way but it is up to you how you let them affect the overall narrative.
But I am also human. I have moments where negative thinking creeps in, times when I’m not kind to myself and where I let the weight of things pile up until I can’t hold them anymore and I collapse.
This time round (and I must say it is a recurring contender) one of the weights pinning me down was the feeling that I’m just not good enough; in any way. Not just in one area of my life but in all.
I suffer with imposter syndrome, as a lot of people these days do, and I constantly battle with the feeling that I am not able enough to do the things that I want to do/achieve. I don’t feel clever enough, talented enough, fit enough; I’m not a good enough daughter, sister, friend, let alone the fact that the world dictates that at my age I should be close to ticking of certain milestones (house, married, kids…) if I haven’t started to already…. which I haven’t and I am not.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, to get it right, to smash life out of the park, and by a certain age; that we are actually limiting our ability to succeed. Through allowing the feeling of “not enough” to build up and seep into every corner it can find, you end up drowning in your own self doubt and ultimately lose yourself.
I definitely felt lost.
I have finally managed to pull myself out of my funk. I have used the tools in my tool box and when they haven’t worked I have tried out new tools. But this time the one thing I kept having to tell myself to help me climb out of the pit, even if I didn’t truly believe it at that moment in time, was that;
After all why not me? Why shouldn’t I achieve the things I want to? Why can’t I be the person I want to be? If other people can, why can I?
Life is full of ups and downs, bends and twists, obstacles to trip you up and many opportunities to help you fly. The difficulty comes from you not allowing your own mind to hold you back.
So fill your own tool box, find things that help lift you and allow you to soar but never forget to tell yourself often that you are good enough.
You can be wanting to self-develop, you can still have plenty to learn and need room to grow but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough as you are.
You Are Enough.
P.S. Don’t struggle alone. Ask for help if you need it.
#bettyoucan #bettican #bettwecan