I went for afternoon tea with one of my favourite people last week (I do seem to go for afternoon tea quite a bit lately… is this adulthood? haha) and we always end up chatting about quite deep stuff. We can open up to each other without fear of mockery or judgement and therefor our conversation can more often than not touch on fairly intense, ‘lifey’ topics.
This time, whilst supping our cups of tea and nibbling on our scones (pahaha), we started discussing our careers and what choices we should make going forwards concerning them. Should, my friend in particular, stick at the job she’s in regardless of how much negativity it is bringing into her life right now or cut and run to instead work on the thing she is very passionate about.
Now if you are a regular reader of my blog, or know me at all, you can probably guess which way my opinion swayed….
But obviously it isn’t always a black and white, clear cut choice. There are many factors involved in every aspect of our lives – in our careers, our relationships, our personal goals and habits. It can be very difficult to make a decision at times due to all these opposing factors and how they will be affected.
I said to my friend, “It is very easy for me to sit here as an outsider and an onlooker and say…You should leave your current job, get a less stressful or part time job to see you over whilst you work on pursuing your passion… but obviously I get that it isn’t always that simple. What you need to do is work out what drives you.”
What I mean by this is… if you are purely driven by earning money then leaving a job that could help you climb the pay ladder, or leaving before finding another job that is progressive financially, probably isn’t the best choice for you. However, if you are driven by the desire to help others, to create something of your own, to live a life pursuing your dream then why waste your time staying where you are if it ultimately isn’t even on the same street to where you want to be? Or is even causing you unhappiness?
Money is always a huge factor for people when making big decisions; for obvious reasons, but if money isn’t what is driving you then what is and why should you let the finances control your decisions?
Sure if you have responsibilities… such as children… then money HAS to come into the equation more than if you were financially free… but even then money wouldn’t necessarily be the thing that drives you; your children might be.
Why though do we find it so difficult to make the decision to put our happiness first? To do the thing that, yes, might be harder, less reliable, more uncertain and has less of a clear cut path; over something that doesn’t make us happy but gives us ‘security‘?
What even is security?
Are you ever actually truly secure?
I mean, without coming across as a negative thunderstorm, anything can be taken away or leave you so are you ever actually ‘secure‘?
The relationship you are in could end next week, so why plan it’s future unless it is making you happy?
The company you work for could make you redundant, or go bust and leave you jobless, so why stay in it if it isn’t making you happy?
The air in your lungs could be taken from you tomorrow without an inch of warning, so why live your life not taking the chances that will make you happiest?
I know this is all quite extreme, but my point is if you are investing in something surely it should be because of your happiness rather than for security, as you aren’t actually incontrol of that security blanket…. unless maybe you have made it yourself. If your security blanket is someone else or relies on someone else then not only could it be taken away at a seconds notice but it could also actually be slowly suffocating you.
You may be letting opportunity pass you by. You might be allowing your happiness to fall further down the priority list. All because you are clinging onto a security blanket that isnt actually that good for you.
Whether it’s a job that is keeping you financially stable instead of helping you follow your dream career; or a relationship that is comfortable and familiar compared to pursuing something new and starting from scratch… you could be allowing that security blanket to slowly suffocate you. If you were to peel it back and breathe in the air outside of this ‘safe’ place… would you suddenly be void of oxygen and cease to exist? Or might you actually discover things that fill you up, that bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart? Could you find your purpose and realise that life is too short to live it under a blanket… especially if that blanket isn’t providing you with genuine, real happiness?
So I ask you three things….
- What drives you? Money? Creativity? People? Happiness?…
- Are you living your life under a security blanket that could be slowly suffocating you?
- What would you rather… try and not quite make it, or look back and feel regret?
Blankets are great. Just don’t let them suffocate you.
#bettyoucan #bettican #bettwecan