Have you ever found yourself thinking about someone that you shouldn’t be thinking about?
I would place my bets on every single one of you responding with the word…YES. Some maybe even a… HELL YEAH! Because lets face it we can’t control our emotions to that level. Even if you’re an emotional wizard and have developed a fine art of hiding your emotions so much that half the time you don’t even realise what you’re feeling yourself; you still can’t help who you fall for. It’s completely out of our control.
You can know someone is bad for you. You can know it will never work. You can even know that one day you will look back and think WTF was going on with me at that point of my life! But you still can’t help but feel all the feels at that moment in time.
Obviously sometimes it all works out for the best, your feelings are reciprocated and you can frolic off into the sunset together like something in a Disney movie… but there will also be plenty of times when it does not end in Happily Ever After.
So what do you do when you have the feels for someone you shouldn’t?
Whether they are a friend that doesn’t feel the same, a colleague who you always find yourself with on a staff night out or even the partner of one of your friends. Whether they are already in a relationship with someone else or would unquestionably treat you like rubbish and you know it. Maybe they’re an ex that had their chance but you just can’t seem to move on. Whatever the deal is, you know your feelings need checking and you need to try your hardest to move away from them…
In all honesty…..
I don’t know.
Sure I can give suggestions.
- Write down a list of reasons why it wouldn’t work.
- Confess everything to them and hope the embarrassment overtakes the feelings.
- Distance yourself from them.
- Focus on you and how amazing you are without them.
- Distract yourself with a hobby.
- Distract yourself with friends and family.
- Distract yourself with a dating app.
- Squirt yourself with a water pistol every time you think about them whilst shouting NO!
(sorry just made myself laugh with that last one!!)
But ultimately there is nothing you can actually do to definitely get over someone, not even getting under someone else is a 100% successful… or so I’ve been told…
All you can actually do is not let your feelings for them stop you living your life for you.
If you need to, try a couple of the above and see if they help the process but don’t think that there is a magic cure that you can guarantee will work.
I have worked through over half of the above list in an attempt to move away from my feelings for someone, and so far… I still like them. I’ll let you know how I get on with my next attempt and whether I ever actually try the water gun method (hahahaha).
But one thing I have realised, whilst trying to change my feelings towards someone else, is I need to ensure I don’t move away from me. It might seem silly to say this but when we like someone we often allow ourselves to do and say things that we normally wouldn’t. We may act a certain way without even thinking about it.
I have been in a place where I moved away from myself that much that I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was lost. And I have made a vow to myself that I will never lose myself again, especially not in the process of trying to find someone else.
So, yes your feelings might be frustrating and you might want to resolve them somehow but ultimately all you can do is make sure you’re doing you and not let yourself alter in a bid to gain them or move on from your feelings. If its meant to be they will naturally come to you in time; if its not someone else will naturally gravitate to you and show you that your feelings can be taken to another level completely.
Be Patient and Be You.
#bettyoucan #bettican #bettwecan