Have you ever not felt like you?
Do you feel yourself change when around certain people?
Are there times when you feel lonely even when surrounded by people?
Unfortunately there are many of us that will experience someone else trying to dull our sparkle. The thing is sometimes you aren’t aware it’s happening and occasionally the perpetrator doesn’t even know they are doing it… So how are we meant to stop it if it’s under the radar?
Firstly; you need to do you.
Spend some actual time with yourself. Get to know yourself and be comfortable in your own company; become your best friend. Once you know who you are you are less likely be blind to someone influencing change within you.
But what about when you know someone is negatively effecting you? When you have either been aware from the get go or have finally woken up to what is going on?
You. Do. You.
Don’t rise to it. Stay true to who you are. Distance yourself from them. And if you can remove them completely.
It will take all your strength at first to either make the cut, or to not just flip your lid and let loose on them… but try to keep calm and not rise to their level. Just remind yourself of who you want to be and don’t allow their negative vibes to dictate yours.
Why do people try to dull the sparkle of others?
They may have issues that they don’t know how to deal with so project their own insecurities onto you.
They may be unhappy and need to work on their own self love.
They might be unknowingly influenced by sparkle killers in their own life and are passing on their learnt behaviour.
Or they could just be jealous and a bit of a female poodle (or any other type of dog to be honest… and this isn’t just subjective to female humans – men can be female poodles too).
However, it is important you know… it is not your job to fix them.
I have been there many of times, where I have tried to help people because they are clearly struggling. I have made excuses for them for the way they are and hoped that if I am there for them that they will realise they don’t have to give in to the negativity themselves. Yet in the process of being there for them I wasn’t there for myself. I allowed myself to feel less like me, I absorbed some of their negativity and lost myself; along with my sparkle.
Yes it is a great quality to have a caring nature and to be there for those in need; yet you shouldn’t be there at the expense of your own happiness.
Sparkle. Sparkle. Sparkle.
So the next time your sparkley senses start tingling just remember, no matter what anyone else does…
YOU DO YOU
Be true to yourself and tell people that you can help them shine up their sparkle but you’re not going to let them dull yours.
#bettyoucan #bettican #bettwecan