We’re about to head into the new year so brace yourself for all the New Year New Me hashtags that will be flooding your screens.
I’m here to tell you; you don’t need a ‘New You‘ to smash this next year.
Sure, I understand the premise behind the slogan and have used it myself in the past; but now that I have worked on my own self love and happiness I realise you shouldn’t aim for a ‘new you’ but instead a happier you.
You’re already awesome. You might just need some help to let the true you SHINE.
I challenge you to stop using the phrase “New Year; New Me” and instead say “New Year; Happy Me“. Focus on making yourself happy this year rather than chasing the thought of being somebody different.
Say loud and proud “THIS IS ME! AND I AM AMESOME”
Yes you can want to work on things, you can want to learn and grow, or even set yourself goals to achieve/habits to change but ultimately if you are trying to be someone else you will not succeed. You have to be true to yourself.
Instead of longing to be like someone else; be the best version of you….
AKA the happiest version.
- Firstly take a moment to think about the things that are most important to you. In life what is important….? Career? Family? Money? Experiences? Be as specific as you can and then write them down.
- Now write down what qualities you think are most important within a person? Humour? Loyalty? Being a hard worker? Being passionate? Competitive? Adventurous?… Write as many as you want.
- Now go through your first list and put a green tick next to the ones which your life already includes and an orange dash (-) next to the ones that you need/want to include or focus on more in your life.
- Similarly, with your second list, place a green tick against the qualities you feel you already possess and an orange dash next to the ones you want to make more of an effort to aquire.
- Look at your lists. How many green ticks do you have? Probably more than you expected… proving you don’t need to be anyone other than you. And if not… don’t beat yourself up, likelihood is someone else would have given you more green ticks as we are usually our own worst critic, but either way you’ve got an exciting journey ahead to swap those orange dashes for green ticks!!
- Now, using any and as many of the words on both of your lists as you want, complete the following:
I am a person who is _______ and I am _________ . I have ___________ and __________ whilst also __________ . I can ___________ and I will _____________ . This is me and I am bloody FANTASTIC!
Be proud of who you are. Celebrate the fact you are the only you in existence. You’re individuality is honestly your greatest super power. No one can do you like you do. Own it.
- Look at yourself in the mirror. Really look. I appreciate this will be hard for some as unfortunately a vast majority of us don’t like what they see when we look in the mirror. But try to really see yourself.
- Study the outline of your body, the different sections of your face, your skins ‘imperfections’ and then…. smile. Just smile. It may seem futile or forced but try to just smile whilst looking at yourself.
- This body, YOUR body, is a beautiful, strong vessel that deserves to be loved. It is capable of more than you give it credit for and that changes now. Yes it might feel forced at first but we need to learn to appreciate the skin we are in. So you don’t look like the models in the magazines, or the influencers on Instagram…. you’re not the only one! In actual fact majority of the people you long to look like don’t actually look like that either!! Plus wouldn’t it be boring if we all looked like each other?! So be thankful for the amazing unique body you have been blessed with; after all it is the home you will always live in.
- Now compliment yourself. Again I appreciate this may feel hard to begin with but I promise the more you tell yourself something the more you will start to believe it. Even if right now you are struggling to find one compliment, pick one you want to believe… You are strong, you are intelligent, you are beautiful, you are talented, you have a cracking pair of boobs, your smile is amazing, your laugh is infectious… whatever it is tell it to yourself here and now, whilst looking at yourself in the mirror.
- Repeat your compliment. And again. And again. And again.
- Take your time and really say the words. Like I say, even if you don’t yet believe what you are saying just give it a go and try your hardest to commit to what is coming out of your mouth. As the saying goes; “Fake it till you make it”. Eventually, after telling yourself everyday that you are intelligent, beautiful, talented, amazing… you will start, to not only believe it, but realise it has been true this whole time.
- Leave yourself little notes on your mirror to remind yourself not only to compliment yourself regularly but with the positivity you want to take with you throughout your day into all areas of your life. After all “positivity breeds positivity”. (Another well known, accurate saying for you there).
- Make a plan. You have the list of things that are important to you, of what personal qualities are important to you and I’m sure you have some extra, more specific goals you want to achieve… so lets make a plan to make it all a reality.
- What do you realistically need to do to get to where you want to be? Do you need to start cooking more homecooked healthy meals? Do you need to spend and extra hour a day working on a project? Do you need to start going outside more? Putting an extra bit of money to the side each month? Giving more compliments to other people? Spend some time alone focusing on your own wellbeing and mental health? Whatever you need to do to reach your goals, to become the person you want to be, to be happy – write them down.
- Make a timeline out of the steps you create. What needs to come first before the rest can follow? Don’t worry about giving yourself deadlines to meet but do try to give yourself a target to aim for. When would you like to have achieved X, Y and Z? But be realistic. You are not going to achieve that promotion, or have dropped 2 dress sizes by next month. Nor are you going to lose all of your insecurities in the next few weeks… things take time and that’s ok, as long as we are making the effort and taking the right steps forwards, we will get there.
- I recommend carrying a little notepad with you wherever you go (or you can use notes in your phone) to pop down your intention for the day and the goals you are currently in pursuit of. As well as this, keep a journal by your bedside to jot down any thoughts from the day, any alterations to your plan or aims/goals and also so you can keep reminding yourself of your reasons for wanting to make this journey in the first place.
This year is yours for the taking. You can make it anything you want it to be. Why not make it the happiest year possible? Why not learn to love yourself for who you are? For the strength and courage you have to embark on a journey to happiness rather than accepting a life of self destruction and negativity? The first step, as they say, is the hardest… the thing is you will take many first steps, the strength comes from getting back up when you find you’ve fallen. Falling is not failure and failure isn’t the end. Remember:
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will” (Suzy Kassem)
Keep going. Keep learning. Keep growing.
You’ve got this.
Just believe in yourself and trust “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Finally I will leave you with one last quote (have you realised I’m a sucker for a quote?). As Louise Hay said…
“I choose to make the rest of my life the best of my life”
…Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
#bettyoucan #bettican #bettwecan