The List of Life: Birthday Blues or Celebrations?

IT’S MY 

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Today I turn… wait for it… 26!!!

Now some of you might be thinking… 26 wow that’s getting old, real adult territory that, nearly 30!…

Some will think… God I wish I was turning 26 again!…

And others might be thinking… If only there was a way to stop the aging process so we could all be young forever…..

Myself; I’m really looking forward to being 26. Seriously. I feel like 26 is going to be a great age for me… I don’t know why, I mean, if anything, society dictates that I should be sad about getting older… but why is that?

Why is it that we all want to be older, act older, be treated like responsible adults, until we reach the age of 21/22 and then it’s the complete opposite? We want to hold onto our youth, we feel complimented when asked for ID, we feel no more like adults than we did a year ago but feel the pressure to be more ‘adult-ish’. It’s so strange.

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Different ages seem to mark different stages of your life that you should have reached and if you haven’t then you are somewhat of a failure. Yet, in reality, age is just a number. It doesn’t take into account any of your life’s experiences; what your aspirations are, who has influenced you so far, if you have been through something that has affected your journey (positively or negatively). No, we are just made to feel like if we don’t have certain things ticked off the ‘List of Life’ at each age then we are running out of time and ultimately we are failing.

I am now 26. So according to the ‘List of Life’ I should no longer be living in my childhood home, preferably in a position where I could have my own place or at least buy a house with the person I am in a relationship with. I should be already married, if not close to engagement, and children should definitely be in the near future if they haven’t already started to emerge from my undercarriage. All of this should be ticked off alongside having sussed my career out; I should definitely know what I want to do with rest of my life and already be climbing the ladder of success.

My reality is that;

I still live at home with my mum, with no means to move out yet.

I am single and have no intention of filling my uterus anytime soon.

I have chosen a career that doesn’t have a natural progressive ladder and actually has no steady income (hence why I have no means to move out just yet).

In actual fact I have two careers, both of which are freelance and therefor provide me with no safety net or regular monthly earnings. I don’t know from one month to the next how much I will definitely earn and how long I will need to make it last.

And yet I am incredibly happy to be turning 26. Despite the fact that society deems me to be ‘not where I should be by this age’. 

So, why? How can I be so happy to be turning another year older when I am no where close to having ‘it all’?

Because.

Because I’m not close to where society says I should be but I am a hell of a lot closer to the things I want compared to that of a year ago.

A year ago I was in pretty much the same position in terms of living at home, not having a steady career, I was newly single and had no intention of filling my uterus anytime soon… but I was sad. I was down about my lack of ‘success’ and felt lost; a failure. Not knowing what to do and feeling impatient that I wasn’t yet where I wanted to be.

Jump forward a year and although my situations are fairly similar, my mindset is completely different.

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I have used the last year to work on me. To figure out what I truly want, rather than what I am being told I should want, and took time to formulate plans of how I am going to get there. I have, as cheesy as it may sound to some, rediscovered who I am and what is important to me on My List of Life.

I am now much further along than I was a year ago, even though at a first glance it might not seem it.

I now have TWO unsteady careers; both of which instil passion and ambition in me and make me happy to get up in a morning. I see myself as lucky to still be able to live at home so I can save up money rather than worry about paying the rent this month and lucky that my life is, at this moment in time, all about me. This may seem selfish to some, and to be fair it is, but rather than feeling sad that I am single and have an empty uterus, I choose to be happy that I can dedicate the time and effort I need to get to where I want to be on myself and getting there. That’s not to say that people that have the relationship and the family can’t focus on their careers, or that they are in a worse position than me… it just means that we are all different and on different journeys, and we shouldn’t judge our own happiness on what other people have.

We should focus on the positives on our own situations.

If you are in a loving relationship: be grateful.

If you are climbing the career ladder: be grateful.

If you have a warm, safe place to sleep at night: be grateful.

If you know what you want in life: be grateful.

If you have people to love and care for: be grateful.

If you are able to focus on you and your needs: be grateful.

Whatever your situation try to see the positives and be grateful.

Don’t see your age as a limit to what you can now achieve or as a marker to what you should have already achieved.

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Don’t be sad about getting another candle on your cake, be happy that you made it this far and have been given more opportunity to smash your own List of Life out of the park!

 

 

Whether you’re 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70+ or anywhere in between; you have the opportunity to make life what you want it to be. Take the negatives, the feelings of sadness, of being lost and ‘failing’ and use them to amplify the good. Use them to get your motor running and let them help you plan your next route on the map. Don’t give up because you’re not where you want to be just yet, instead turn the music up, put the hood down on your convertible (because we all have convertibles when on our life travels), feel the sun on your face and drive. Go! You’ve got this! Don’t let anyone tell you any different!

26 is going to be a great year. I’m going to make sure of it.

#bettican #bettyoucan #bettwecan

We say HAPPY Birthday for a reason You should be HAPPY!.png

 

 

 

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